In the 21st Century, where is my self cleaning house?


Where is my self cleaning house?

As I look around my house this morning after having 2 cups of coffee, I sigh.

I wish there was a button that would empty my house out from the dust, crumbs and clutter, instantaneously.
I know there is the robot-vac and a self cleaning cat ( i have two of those) but what about a self cleaning house?
I have a self cleaning oven but I still have to wiped that out after the cleaning cycle is complete.
I have an automatic dishwasher, I have unload then reload with dirty and used dishes.
I have a working washer and a dryer ( finally had that repair last night) but to load and unload, fold and put away is too much.
I have a Dyson vac, it works great on the wood floors but I too, would have to push that around.
I could go on and on but why bother?

This is what I want my house to be:

Clean of all the dust bunnies
Clean of all the crumbs that humans and pets leave behind.
Clean of all the clutter that multiplies over night.
Not much to ask for, is it?

How to implement my ideas.

Train the hubby, again?
Train the kid, again?
Even train the cats and the dog to clean?
I could tie cotton mop heads to the cats and the dog but I think the SPCA would take issue with that idea.
Attached a upside down cone shape bib to the hubby and kid might work...they may balk at that idea.
Or maybe just move to a new place :)

I am not an anal retentive, clean freak person mind you but I would love to have a clean house when friends and family drop in unannounced....or just for me to admire.
It has become a daily battle to clean and I am losing the war rather quickly.
The only sane solution to my problem is to encapsulate all living animals ( hubby, kid and the pets) in plastic bubbles.
I would be free of all the dust bunnies, crumbs and clutter!

Yes, I am a complaining, lazy person today.
I would rather sit at this computer and dream of one day in the 21st Century, someone will invent a self cleaning house or if not in this Century, maybe in the 22nd.
NOT!
Time to clean
I rarely complain about anything or about anyone but toady is the day I start.